Beware! This blog post is haunted!
Right now, as you read this, ghouls are racing through the internet to torment you! There they go, slipping out your computer’s USB port, through the folds of your clothing, and into your clenched anus!
It is too late now to stop them!
By now, the banshees that ravaged your anal pore have entered your stomach and are gulping down warm stomach acids like it was Dr. Pepper. Feeding off your body’s juices, they soon will creep onward to suck the life-giving oxygen out of your lungs and replace it with pure, toxic radon. Your body will soon belong to the phantoms and will be processed into a canned feast for their hell-beasts.
This is all part of the fun of the witching season that we celebrate as November nears each year. The leaves have fallen from the trees, the sun is slipping further away, and Satan’s shadow-trolls have emerged to terrify your children into a lifetime of brittle emotional detachment.
That’s what you get for visiting the John Larroquette Project. Now, go back to your precious baby-blogs, never to return!