Monthly Archives: October 2008

Cool Morning Overreactions

Darkness has once again enshrouded the mornings, my friends. The black, tingling chill of the night air pierces my nostrils and tickles my groin as I exit my car. I am alone in a void of empty, frosted air and … Continue reading

Posted in Best of the JLP, Ramblings | 3 Comments

My Secret

You know, people are always coming up to me and asking, “Peter, how do you do it?” “How do you stay so young and vibrant? Where does your boundless exuberance and vitality come from? How does your handshake remain so … Continue reading

Posted in Ramblings | 2 Comments

Animal Hoarding

On this Monday, the JLP salutes animal hoarders across the land! Animal hoarding has long been a facination of ours, and we want to step back a moment to honor those who amass insane numbers of filthy, feral animals in … Continue reading

Posted in Raves | 24 Comments

Chalk Consequences

One of the funny things about the place I teach is that we still use chalkboards, as opposed to the white boards you find in most public schools (or the telepathic, mind-transference devices used in elite private institutions). As a … Continue reading

Posted in Ramblings | 2 Comments

Pumpkin Paddler

Here’s some important news out of yesterday’s Portage Daily Resister (Wisconsin): JR Hildebrandt is always looking for ways to raise money for the Tri-City Children’s Dream Foundation, an organization that grants dreams to children with special needs. His latest venture … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 5 Comments

Gramatica’s Farewell.

Ayyy! Its-a Martin Gramatica from the New Orleans Saints! Look-a my hair! You like? It’s-a permed mullet! Is good! My groin muscle, it’s-a not-a so good. It makes my kicks wildly erratic, like-a mule who drank from the whiskey bucket! … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 2 Comments