Milk of the Chinee

China has handed down the death penalty to two men who ran workshops responsible for introducing melamine, an industrial chemical, into China’s milk supply (in an attempt to fool government protein tests). Six babies died and hundreds of thousands fell ill as a result of drinking chemically altered milk.

Both men will be forced to drink milk until they barf on each other. Then they will be shot.

Then their rotting milk-barf will be fed to their babies.

In other news, all of China’s problems are solved now.

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9 Responses to Milk of the Chinee

  1. Guy Incognito says:

    They also changed their racial designation from “Chinese” to “Chinee” apparently.

  2. peter says:

    That wasn’t a mistake, it’s an antiquanted term from a racist era that I used for comedic effect.

    As you can tell, the effect is hilarious.

  3. Guy Incognito says:

    Ohhh… now I get it!
    Ha ha ha ha haaa!

  4. tim hopps says:

    When I read the title “Milk of the Chinee” I thought it was going to be about milk dribbling down your chinee chin chin from your precious morning Raisin Bran.

  5. Guy Incognito says:

    Tim never gets jokes.

  6. peter says:

    Tim, you need to drop it with the raisin bran references. You’ve gone too far.

    So what if I love raisin bran as much as I love my wife? Does that give you license to mock me like a common cripple?

    You don’t understand the sweet, succulent tang of The Bran anyway. You’re ignorant.

  7. Roger says:

    I eat Total Raisin Bran. I’m like Peter. With class.

  8. tim hopps says:

    You guys are clueless! You know which regular Raisin Bran is my favorite? Cub Foods. Yes, you heard me… Cub Foods. I swear, there are more raisins in that stuff than you can count. BUT, if you’re talkin’ the creme de la creme of Raisin Brans, none comes close to Raisin Bran Crunch. That stuff is like chewing on heaven itself.

    Actuallly, I prefer an Egg Mcmuffin over any stupid cereal.

  9. tim hopps says:

    And anyway, what’s the big story? China hands down the death penalty for getting a speeding ticket.

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