The city of Minneapolis assessor’s office sent us a friendly note in the mail yesterday. The note had a picture of a sailboat on it! Also, it told us about how our home has dropped in value by nearly 30% since 2007.
I liked the sailboat part better.
Lots of helpful swear words sprang to mind as I read the letter. As my hands began to tremble and my skin turned purple with rage, it became clear that only one profanity was truly appropriate. Only one word was vile and objectionable enough to the accursed Minneapolis assessor that perhaps his heart might burst open the moment I shouted it.
FARKLE is the risk-taking, dice rolling game that in no way resembles YAHTZEE! Dating back to the Renaissance, FARKLE was probably enjoyed by Galileo, and likely inspired his advanced theories on inertia and proof of a heliocentric universe. Shortly afterwards, FARKLE was ruled an abomination against the Blessed Virgin by the Catholic church.
FARKLE is fun for children, too!
Say FARKLE out loud! It will make the rainclouds run for cover and the Home Depreciation Trolls die of dysentery! Their diseased, bloody, mucus-riddled feces will slop down from the treetops in my neighborhood where they live! FARKLE, FARKLE, FARKLE!
Hey, housing market collapse! FARKLE you, right in your FARKLING face!