Hee hee! My throat tickles!
Something fishy is happening beyond my uvula! My glands are swollen and I feel a wiggly prickle, like there’s a frisky tapeworm in there!
Who put that silly tapeworm in there? Did you? Is it a Mexican tapeworm? There aren’t any burritos down there, Mexican tapeworm!
It hurts when I swallow! Why? Is it because of my secret shame?
I am not going to swallow anymore! When my mouth fills with saliva, I’m just going to part my lips and let it all fall out onto the carpet! Problem solved!
Does this silly tickle mean that the next few days are going to suckle at the chapped, bitter teat of a she-mule?
The truth is not in me! I’ll see you in hell, Mexican tapeworm!
First, though, I’ve got to cook up some chili…
I think you should have a self-imposed rule that says every post must end in chili flavored suicide.