Monthly Archives: March 2009

No Idea Where This One Was Going

My, it sure is rainy outside this morning! It’s all wet and drippy everywhere, like a rottweiler’s mouth. I hate this weather, because my hair becomes unmanageable and my inner thighs chafe. Why is everything all gray and cold and … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 3 Comments

An Awkward Mishap

Guys, I have a question for you, but I want you to be honest. Does this soaking wet t-shirt make me look fat? When I was getting dressed this morning, I threw on one of my favorite old white t-shirts … Continue reading

Posted in Ramblings | 2 Comments

Truman Musings

Hey gang, Harry Truman here. You know, everybody likes to remember me for my saying, “the buck stops here”. Well, there’s a lot more to me than just that. I remember when I was escalating the Korean Conflict by invading … Continue reading

Posted in Best of the JLP, Meh | 1 Comment

A Mongolian Makeover, Minus the Mare Meat

Kneel, feeble city-dwellers! I, Genghis Khan have conquered the John Larroquette Project! Now, celebrate my conquest with me! We will drink deeply from the sweetly fermented mare’s milk of my people! The milkbooze will drip down our chin-whiskers as we … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 4 Comments

William Jennings Bryan: Up From the Grave He Rose

Are you interested in yumtime snuggles and carefree twirls ’round the butterscotch tree? Do you believe in the magic of rainbow dragons and multicultural gnome whisperings? Then join us in our populist destruction-riots, celebrating the miracle of short-sightedness! Together, we … Continue reading

Posted in Rants | 3 Comments

My One, Simple Wish

You know that thing that happens when people get really overweight – that thing where they breathe through their mouth all the time and they get that “fat voice”? By “fat voice”, I mean that even if you were talking … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 4 Comments