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Monthly Archives: March 2009
No Idea Where This One Was Going
My, it sure is rainy outside this morning! It’s all wet and drippy everywhere, like a rottweiler’s mouth. I hate this weather, because my hair becomes unmanageable and my inner thighs chafe. Why is everything all gray and cold and … Continue reading
Posted in Meh
3 Comments
An Awkward Mishap
Guys, I have a question for you, but I want you to be honest. Does this soaking wet t-shirt make me look fat? When I was getting dressed this morning, I threw on one of my favorite old white t-shirts … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
2 Comments
Truman Musings
Hey gang, Harry Truman here. You know, everybody likes to remember me for my saying, “the buck stops here”. Well, there’s a lot more to me than just that. I remember when I was escalating the Korean Conflict by invading … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Meh
1 Comment
A Mongolian Makeover, Minus the Mare Meat
Kneel, feeble city-dwellers! I, Genghis Khan have conquered the John Larroquette Project! Now, celebrate my conquest with me! We will drink deeply from the sweetly fermented mare’s milk of my people! The milkbooze will drip down our chin-whiskers as we … Continue reading
Posted in Meh
4 Comments
William Jennings Bryan: Up From the Grave He Rose
Are you interested in yumtime snuggles and carefree twirls ’round the butterscotch tree? Do you believe in the magic of rainbow dragons and multicultural gnome whisperings? Then join us in our populist destruction-riots, celebrating the miracle of short-sightedness! Together, we … Continue reading
Posted in Rants
3 Comments
My One, Simple Wish
You know that thing that happens when people get really overweight – that thing where they breathe through their mouth all the time and they get that “fat voice”? By “fat voice”, I mean that even if you were talking … Continue reading
Posted in Meh
4 Comments