Gosh, this is really good apple juice!
I like sipping this juice. It’s sweet and tangy and it tastes like kitten-cuddles!
Nevermind sipping, I’m going to gulp this down!
Hee-hee! I drank all the juice! I drank that juice so fast, you guys! It’s in my belly now, warm and mixed with bile. That’s what happens to apple juice!
Give me more apple juice. I need it.
What’s that? I wasn’t drinking apple juice? What was I drinking then? Hot dog water? Was I drinking melted snow from the front sidewalk? What was it? Tell me!
Pineapple juice? Oh sick! You sick bastard! I might as well have spent the morning swallowing the drippings squeezed out of a bum’s underwear!
I hate pinea–SPLUUUURURRURURAAAAGHGGHHH!! I AM VOMITING!!
Seriously, you filthy bastard, I hate pineapples.
Brilliant. This is why I tune in every day. What’s odd is that there are actually people out there who wouldn’t find this funny in the least. But THEY’RE the weird ones. And you seem so normal in real life. Most masterful illusion ever.
And by the way, congratulations on your 1000th post!
If I can be totally honest, I really half-assed this post. To have Tom praise this meager effort, I feel like Elvis Presley in 1972 surrounded by sycophants.
That’s too bad, Peter. Let me write you a few prescriptions…
Nice use of the word sycophants… To be honest I don’t know what it means, but I sure it’s still a nice use none the less.
I don’t know what sycophants means either, but no matter. I understood your comment perfectly. More half-assed posts please!
And why do you keep calling me Tom?
“Tim”-
So what were the prime “Yes Man” (i.e. sycophants) years for Elvis? I threw out 1972 as an educated guess, but you’re the expert.