Guess what I had for dinner tonight?
Hamburgers!
These weren’t regular hamburgers, though! There wasn’t any ham in them at all! These hamburgers were made with meat.
Bridgette told me that the meat came from a cow-beast. I asked her why the cow had to die. She said because of me.
I guess I feel bad about the cow. I also feel bad about the genocide of 500,000 Armenians during World War I. We all have regrets.
Thank you for your ham-meat Mr. Cow! I will eat one of your friends tomorrow, and then you can writhe in torment together with him in cow hell, you vacant-eyed bastard!
What Armenian Genocide?
Uh, I mean to say, “Hooray, Ottoman Empire!”
And if God didn’t intend for animals to be eaten, then why did he make them out of meat?