The Grossbeard

As you’ve probably already assumed, Bridgette and I spent part of last evening watching Season 2 of Family Ties on DVD.

I wish that was MY family.

The highlight of our experience was a new featurette about Michael Gross’s beard.

Beard me.

I’m not kidding. Michael Gross detailed his decision to grow a beard, and the producers and actors opined on the beard’s significance to the series. This went on for eight minutes. In the end, the featurette seemed to intimate that Michael Gross’s beard was an American accomplishment on par with the taming of the West or Michael Jackson’s funeral. In the Eternal Pantheon of Beards, Gross apparently belongs somewhere between the Norse god Thor and Vlade Divac.

After watching it, I could close my eyes and just imagine what it would feel like to have Michael Gross rub his whiskery chin all over my belly. (Not that we would jump right into the beard-rubbing – we’d probably sit down and have a nice cup of coffee first.) I have written Michael Gross a lengthy manuscript detailing my thoughts on his beard and what I bet he was really thinking during every scene in which he appeared in season 2. I’ve tried to get this to Michael Gross so he could read it and know me, but he’s a really fast runner.

I hope the season 3 DVDs have a featurette about the character of Skippy. He was my favorite. I wonder if Skippy wants to come over to my house sometime and tell me if he ever saw Michael Gross without his shirt on?

Family Ties!

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3 Responses to The Grossbeard

  1. Thom says:

    Skippy died on the set of a horror film when Ozzy Osborne went on a bender and bit Skippy’s head off like a bat or dove. It was on the E! True Hollywood Story about Family Ties.

  2. peter says:

    It’s how the Skippy character would have wanted him to go.

  3. JuliAnn says:

    This is just one more argument against TV series that predate DVD being later released on DVD. It’s wrong, and the Grossbeard DVD filler is just one example why. I don’t even want to ask what the menu looked like.

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