I picked up a bunch of the newly remastered Beatles albums today. Because I am not a man of unlimited means like Kent Hrbek, I had to choose only what I felt were their five MOST essential albums – Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper’s, the White Album, and Abbey Road.
Handing my sweaty, saved-up cash wad to the cashier, I scurried out the door to the safe confines of my car where I unwrapped Revolver popped it in the CD player. Safely within the conservative confines of my Hyundai, the droning blast of “Tomorrow Never Knows” blew back my hair and tickled my tender underbelly. The sounds were crisper, clearer, and Paul McCartney’s basslines wrapped themselves around me like a python in heat.
It was as if I was transported back in time to Abbey Road studios. I could close my eyes and witness George Harrison’s glowering mutters, McCartney’s smiley bossiness, and Yoko Ono’s atonal screams from a bed positioned in the corner of the studio for unexplained reasons. I could even inhale deeply and smell the foul mixture of weed and John Lennon’s beard. Despite these things, the remastered album experience was great.
Speeding home at 85mph in my maroon Korean steed to the raunchy swirl of “Helter Skelter”, I rolled down my windows and screamed obscenities at passing vehicles like Michael Richards on the last day of school. In recognition of what I was experiencing, several drivers of other vehicles similarly rolled down their windows and shouted, “BEATLES NUMBER ONE!” and drove their cars off a bridge.
So the remastered albums are worth checking out. I recommend listening to them in a Hyundai. I doubly recommend listening to them in a Hyundai while groping a loved one, but maybe that’s just me.