Factually Reviewing the Remastered Beatles Catalogue

I picked up a bunch of the newly remastered Beatles albums today. Because I am not a man of unlimited means like Kent Hrbek, I had to choose only what I felt were their five MOST essential albums – Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper’s, the White Album, and Abbey Road.

Ringo is the short one!

Handing my sweaty, saved-up cash wad to the cashier, I scurried out the door to the safe confines of my car where I unwrapped Revolver popped it in the CD player. Safely within the conservative confines of my Hyundai, the droning blast of “Tomorrow Never Knows” blew back my hair and tickled my tender underbelly. The sounds were crisper, clearer, and Paul McCartney’s basslines wrapped themselves around me like a python in heat.

It was as if I was transported back in time to Abbey Road studios. I could close my eyes and witness George Harrison’s glowering mutters, McCartney’s smiley bossiness, and Yoko Ono’s atonal screams from a bed positioned in the corner of the studio for unexplained reasons. I could even inhale deeply and smell the foul mixture of weed and John Lennon’s beard. Despite these things, the remastered album experience was great.

Speeding home at 85mph in my maroon Korean steed to the raunchy swirl of “Helter Skelter”, I rolled down my windows and screamed obscenities at passing vehicles like Michael Richards on the last day of school. In recognition of what I was experiencing, several drivers of other vehicles similarly rolled down their windows and shouted, “BEATLES NUMBER ONE!” and drove their cars off a bridge.

So the remastered albums are worth checking out. I recommend listening to them in a Hyundai. I doubly recommend listening to them in a Hyundai while groping a loved one, but maybe that’s just me.

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7 Responses to Factually Reviewing the Remastered Beatles Catalogue

  1. Thom says:

    That pretty much sums up everything the Beatles are all about to me…

  2. Tom Degan says:

    I realize that the times we live in are just too damned weird to focus any degree of attention on a rock ‘n’ roll band that released its final recording forty-years-ago last month – two of whose members are gone from our midst. Think about it. In 1969, at the height of all that was going on then, any columnist who would have devoted a entire page to the greatness of the Paul Whiteman Orchestra would have been laughed out of the business. But this isn’t just any band we’re talking about here. With the exception of the President’s address to a joint session of Congress last night, I didn’t spend much time yesterday focusing on affairs of state. September 9, 2009 belonged to the Beatles.

    Yesterday marked the long-awaited release of a box set containing all fourteen albums recorded by the Fab Four between the years 1962 and 1970. What makes this package different from what has previously been available is the fact that the engineers at EMI (the studio in London where they did most of their work) have digitally remastered the recordings from the original multi-track tapes. It was like listening to them for the first time all over again. The Beatles have never sounded better – I didn’t even think that was possible!

    Let me attempt the impossible and sum up the Beatles’ message in one sentence: We are the makers of our own dreams. That works for me.

    Dream. Dream away.


    Tom Degan
    Goshen, NY

  3. tim hopps says:

    This is no time for me to be spending money on CD’s… I just bought a new car. But I ordered the boxed set yesterday, and the kickass 6-speaker stereo (w/subwoofer) in my KIA (yes, Kia… no more Caddies or LeSabres for this old man) will be erupting with rivers of Beatle juice all over this town.

  4. peter says:

    Hooray for the Beatles and Goshen, NY!

  5. sarah says:

    goo goo kachoo

  6. Thanks for listening to the music and posting about it, though I must admit to some disappointment upon discovering that the reviewer was not in fact John Larroquette.

  7. peter says:

    Thanks, Paul. Big fan.

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