Behold, the insufferable sight that greeted us miserable Minnesotans on this, the mournful morning of October 10th, 2009.
What the hell is this all about? The first snow is a sacred moment that must be reserved for no earlier than election day! A snowfallen morning on October 10th is like a department store selling Christmas items in the heat of August – it’s against the natural laws of the universe, just as forbidden as a committed, long-term relationship between a goat and a gator.
The first snow should be a time when apple-cheeked children rub their eyes and smile in wonderment, a time when coarsened misers throw silver dollars in the air with delight, a time for dogs to hump furniture in ecstacy. When the snow falls this early in the year, none of those things are liable to occur. Instead, we are left to stare vacantly at the sight of the snow-covered ground and absentmindedly extend our middle fingers to the heavens at our plight.
Everything is awful now. Nice job, Joe Nathan.
I saw the snow and promptly killed myself. Imagine my depression on finding myself resurrected and having to go into work anyways.