There’s nothing like a Law & Order marathon to make you feel all warm and smushy inside, is there?
Law & Order has everything I love – grizzled irony, child rapists, and characters who lie. On top of that, each episode features more unexpected wrinkles than Willie Nelson’s anus. Every version of Law & Order runs like clockwork, starting with an incident of unspeakable cruelty and ending with some lucky guest star shouting in a courtroom (somewhat like Willie Nelson, though to a lesser degree). It’s twisted, televised comfort food, like maple-flavored cat excrement.
As the hours pass by during a Law & Order marathon, we the viewers begin to take on the characteristics of the show. We greet strangers with cynical suspicion, we squint our eyes skeptically, and floss our teeth with incredulity. We respond to moments of significance with narrow-eyed, incisive comments and resolve ethical dilemmas with physical force and tough words, totally unlike Willie Nelson.
Hooray for Law & Order marathons! They make us awful!