In this blog’s grand tradition of ceaselessly providing essential public services, here is a detailed invoice of the estimated property damage inflicted in the 1989 hit film National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (in 2009 dollars):
-Windows shattered by the unveiling of oversized Christmas tree: 2 windows at $700 each
-Superflouous destruction from tree: $100
-Yuppie neighbors’ high end stereo destroyed and window shattered by huge icicle: $780
-Clark’s flannel shirt ripped when stapling lights to the house: $20
-Hole in ceiling created when Clark is in attic: $988
-Yuppie neighbors’ dishes smashed and carpet stained with wine when the Griswold’s house lights up: $50
-Santa and reindeer lawn display kicked in by Clark: $99
-Saucer sled ripped to shreds when lubricated with a non-nutrative cereal varnish and ridden down a mountain and across a Wal-Mart parking lot: $15
-Damage to warming shed Clark sleds through: $350
-Light bulbs smashed by Cousin Eddie’s bag of dog food: $2
-Strand of Christmas lights chewed up by cat: $9
-Living room chair destroyed by flaming cat: $400
-Cat: $14
-Uncle Lewis’ suit burned in tree fire: $100
-Drapes burned in tree fire: $50
-Ornaments destroyed in tree fire: $75
-Superfluous damage and destroyed walls in tree fire: $1500
-Door knocker ripped off by delivery man: $65
-Yuppie neighbors’ dining room window smashed when Clark fells tree: $700
-Banister post chainsawed off by Clark: $60
-Door destroyed when Snots the dog smashes through it in squirrel chase: $148
-Fine china smashed by Snots and squirrel: $90
-Yuppie neighbor’s dress ripped apart by squirrel: $110
-Windows shattered by SWAT team: 4 at $700 each
-Yuppie neighbor’s door kicked in by SWAT team: $575
-Uncle Lewis’ toupee singed in gas explosion: $325
-Final successful endeavor in Chevy Chase’s career: Priceless
That comes out to a grand total of some $10,825, not counting the inevitable city fines coming for starting a massive chemical explosion. The lesson learned by America? When in doubt, allow Chevy Chase set something on fire and let the good times roll!
So is Community a return to form? Or a wishful attempt to gain relevancy?
Community’s alright, but have you paid attention to him on that show? His jittery mannerisms are like Michael Richards in withdrawl. Joel McHale does a great job on that show, but everyone else needs to take a deep relaxing breath before each take, in my opinion.
Pingback: Tweets that mention The John Larroquette Project » Estimated Property Damage Inflicted in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, JLP star -- Topsy.com
If we are talking replacement value, the cat costs more than $14. Factor in shots, adoption fees (from a shelter), spaying or neutering and you are probably close to $100. Around here (Iowa City) it would be $90. The fine china would be more than that, also, I would think, IF it really was “fine.”
Cool idea for a list, tough.
Pingback: Holiday At The Sea » The Weekly Town Crier
Pingback: Is Your House on Fire Clark? « Olde Frothingblog