Raisin-Related Meanderings

Check out this awesome raisin, you guys!

Wow! Don’t you just want to put that fat, wrinkly son of a bitch in your mouth and suck it? It’s even better than normal since it has brown sugar all over it! It’s like slathering a delicious Wendy’s Double Stack in Miracle Whip – the best of both worlds!

One of my favorite things about raisins is how they taste vaguely like grapes. Why is that? I suppose we’ll never know. Thanks a lot, science.

All this talk of raisins reminds me of the timeless music of Big Raisin, who rocked the upstate New York region from 1990-1991.

They were, without a doubt, the voice of their generation. Their terrible, artistically bankrupt generation. Let’s lift a pail of raisins and toast Big Raisin – their song “Rock Patrol” lifted the spirits of a nation to new heights of adult contemporary refreshment, and their lead singer’s hairdo makes Art Garfunkel look like a reasonable person.

But back to the subject at hand, which is raisins. They’re awesome and I love to eat them every day. For some reason, raisins always taste best to me at 3am, right about the time my anxiety medication wears off.

Hooray, raisins!

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3 Responses to Raisin-Related Meanderings

  1. tim hopps says:

    A laugh-packed, delightful post today! It involved some of my favorite topics… food, music, and mental illness. One which I will savor for days. I suppose I’ll have to, because after this flurry of posting the last few days, I’m supposing we’re in for a JLP drought. (Confidential to Peter: Just riding your ass like I know you secretly desire. Everyone needs to feel wanted.)

  2. tim hopps says:

    Hey, wait a minute… that pretty much looks like MY hairdo these days. Damn you and your veiled insults!!!

  3. Peter says:

    “Confidential to Peter: Just riding your ass like I know you secretly desire.”


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