Library Fun!

Let’s take a fun-time stroll through our local library, where several dreams come true! The memories you’ll make at the library won’t be tedious at all, and you’ll love the ambiance provided by the slack-jawed ne’er-do-wells playing online games!

Let’s see what we can find in the children’s section, shall we?


Sure, Sosa and McGwire roided up and damaged the integrity of some of sport’s most hallowed numbers, but they did it with class. They showed our children the way with smiles on their faces and needle holes in their asses. As for Griffey, he showed our children the dignified way to go on the disabled list. Heroes all.

Hey kids, check out the fun in the new issue of Mesopotamia magazine! On page 14, you’ll find fun facts about the barbaric slaughter of the Phoenicians by the Assyrian king Tiglath-Pileser III in 740 B.C.! Also, the back page features a Zoroastrianism-themed word find! Mesopotamia: catch the violent, hierarchical fever!

A side question: is this a monthly periodical? How long could it’s run possibly be?

It’s Harry Potter in Chinese! And look, it’s been retitled Harry Potter and the Glorious Proletarian Protectorship! The corrected plot involves Harry learning to use his “thought reform” wand to protect the people from insidious foreign influence! Let’s hope Harry can succeed with the help of Dumbledore’s surveillance cameras!

Libraries: catch the scarlet fever!

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4 Responses to Library Fun!

  1. Shari says:

    You are hilarious!! I love reading your posts! I have a correction for you this morning….your “Mesopotamia Magazine” is actually Kids Discover Magazine…it is a monthly periodical..we actually get it…have for several years…each issue has a new and exciting topic/theme…it is quite educational…
    Thanks for all the laughs!

  2. kevin s. says:

    So, this is how you are “earning” a second bachelors?

  3. tim hopps says:

    Henry Huggins could kick Harry Potter’s butt.

  4. Emerson says:

    I don’t advise you to travel to China anytime soon. I’m sure your post must have been picked-up and flagged by a room full of Chinese internet Sensors. Your musings (I’m sure) must at least qualify you for a spy.

    By the way, it’s “Harry PotteL GRorious PLoletarian” in Chinese. When I visited, people tend to lose the “L” sound.

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