My blog is broken!
The new version of WordPress doesn’t mix with the JLP’s most glorious, inerrent programming, and now nobody can read the comments! Could this be the end for your favorite website?
As I see it, I’m left with three options:
1) Hire some dumb idiot to redesign the site for me, perhaps with fewer alcoholic beverages and dead cats prominently displayed, as there is some question as to how well such images play with potential employers.
2) Continue on half-heartedly with the broken design where nobody can comment until this blog finally dies an ignoble death with one last post promising to get back in the blogging habit. I would thus bumble my way into oblivion, like Gerald Ford.
3) Kill myself with bees.
I’m not sure yet as to the logistics of #3, but I assume that it is possible, swift, and not traumatic at all for child onlookers.
I would ask for reader input, but that’s now impossible. Perhaps if you, dear reader, were to speak your preference aloud in a calm, clear voice your wishes might somehow reach me telepathically and influence my decision-making.
I think it’s working! Did somebody just say something about going to Wendy’s? Man, Wendy’s suddenly sounds so good to me. I’d get a Double Stack and a Frosty and three more Double Stacks. Is Wendy’s open at 8:30am? Do you think the shift manager might be cool and let me in early? He probably would, Craig’s cool that way.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand – my broken blog. I don’t know what I’ll do. Frankly, if I lose this blog, I won’t have anything left. I’ll only have my wife, my son, my house, my career, and my extended network of friends and family. That’s it. Without this blog, my life would be an endless loop of muted smiles and wary chuckles and disgusting Double Stack binges. Death by bees is looking better and better all the time.
Have a great day, everyone! Everything is terrible now!