JLP Redesign

All glory and laud to Ryan Pickett for the JLP’s new header!

It is a time of great change for my blog. WordPress turmoil created the need for a site overhaul and spelled the end for the JLP’s high period marked by a header combining my love for patriotism and dead cats.

In response to these dark developments, we have returned with a new look. The site’s new design gives readers easier access to the deepest depths of the JLP archives. The new header celebrates my obsessions with the American presidency and animal hoarding. As an added treat, Ryan designed a ’37’ into the text of the header as a nod to Rock TV, the video ministry that has provided occasional pleasure and regular marital strain to our lives.

Lastly, the JLP has adopted an official motto: Et nunc, mea porcella, moriar, which translates roughly as, “and now, my pig, you die.” This is a reference to Demon Wind, my favorite B-movie of all time (watch this clip at about the 5:00 mark for highly-edifying context). But more than that, this new motto reflects the general attitude of the JLP towards its readers.

The Great JLP Redesign is now complete! This new look will no doubt mark this blog’s ignoble decline into fallow disuse! Join with me, feeble readers, and lift your glasses to mark this dark new chapter. Let the chocolate milk drip down our beards as we drink deeply and flail our free arm at imagined wasps!

Let us together recline into oblivion!

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8 Responses to JLP Redesign

  1. Dana says:

    If this comment actually posts on your new blog, I will truly consider this redesign a success. So many years I have tried to post comments on your site and so many denials, but now? {insert evil laugh here}

  2. Admiral Sir Steve Talley, GCB, OBE says:

    Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

    Mmm, this chocolated milk beverage is capital! Even as I dictate this message into the ship-to-shore radio, friendly animals and small insects swarm about my substantial beard, feasting on the sugared coating provided by this concoction. I am unalarmed, of course, as a nest of squirrels and a family of moose are typical passengers aboard Her Majesty’s aircraft carriers.

    Good heavens! The wasps have apparently broken into the armory, and are now commandeering my ship one bulkhead at a time. Well you may have superior numbers and mastery of the machine guns, but I was the amateur boxing champion all my years at Eton and Cambridge! Let us square off and see who is superior!

    This was the last communication received by the Royal Navy from 1SL/CNS Sir Talley, who had buccaneered the HMS Illustrious in a drunken rage. The Illustrious was docked at Portsmouth for a refit when the inebriated First Sea Lord ordered all crew off her in an attempt to sail her solo to the Falkland Islands and “pay the bastards back for their effrontery.” The ship later sank near the Maldives, over 7,000 nautical miles off-course.

  3. Peter D says:

    That’s why I keep you around.

    • Peter says:

      Pete, using the Demon Wind quote was Chris Brenna’s idea. I actually went to him to translate my original idea: “Same shit, different day” (in Latin: “eadem merda alia die”). He suggested the movie quote, which I liked even better.

  4. My only appropriate response to reading this was to belch loudly.

  5. Tim Hopps says:

    I’ll miss the blobfish. Well, I guess I can just look down at my bare belly…

  6. Chris B. says:

    Since I’m already the guy that gets consulted for Latin quotes, I may as well also be the pedant who corrects Latin on people’s blogs. But since it’s my own fault, I should correct my own mistake. Your motto should actually read, “et nunc, mea porcella, moriris.” I look forward to the day when Demon Wind is dubbed into Latin, so we can all watch that clip in the language to which it is best suited.

    • peter says:

      This very important change has been made, Chris. Thank you so much for your service to our community.

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