It’s time to have more fun with Google image search!
Here’s what I found when I searched “Unicorn Fondle“:
Look at that sick little freak. All he ever wants to do is fondle unicorns and experience the low depravity of interspecies love. Too bad he’s got no arms. That poor unicorn is just going to have to go fondle itself, I guess.
“Forbidden Shampoo”
Having a cat lick your hair clean would certainly qualify as a forbidden shampoo in my book. This is what happens when single women get lonely and experiment.
How about “Bramblefuss“?
Dear Lord! What sort of awfulness is this? My new nightmare is that I wake up in a dank pit waist deep in a writhing pile of these red-eyed sons of bitches.
“Turtleneck Riddle”
Wow, Roseanne Barr has really let herself go…
“Pitstick Exuberance”
I see polite smiles, wood paneling, and a mirror inexplicably placed directly behind a couch, but I don’t see much exuberance here. I only see profound social discomfort. (I will grant that the pitstick is implied.)
“Sadness Mouthwash”
It’s time to visit the grandparents in their new condo! I have to stand because their damn dog refuses to get off the chair. Christmas cards are still hanging in the doorway even though it’s May. Grandma can’t sustain a conversation because she refuses to stop watching the Hallmark Channel. Grandpa brought us cups of coffee, but he doesn’t seem to realize it’s just hot water. This is sadness defined. Time for some mouthwash to get drunk and forget our memories.
Thank you so much for bringing Unicorn Fondle into my daily vocabulary.
I want more commentary on “Turtleneck Riddle”. The guy in that shot begs to be commented on! “Having a cat lick your hair clean…” will have me chuckling until 3:58pm today.
These are funny.. wonder what searching for my name would turn up?
There is literally no way of finding that out, Mr. Bagley.