Peter’s Childrens Book
Greetings, young fools.
I’m back from my vacation now, and I will regale you with tales of cabin love on Friday. But for now, I’d like to share something a little more special with you. Back in the 1900’s, when I was in high school, I used a neat little program on my family’s computer to create short children’s books. Of course, given my nature, these stories were disturbing and violent. I will be sharing these stories with you, beginning with this one.
This tale is entitled “Steven is Naughty”
Categories:
August 25th, 2004 at 11:00 am
Hahahaha!
It’s nice and warm in hell, Peter.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:03 am
I’m so proud of you peter. i wish you were my father.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:04 am
How do you make a dead baby float?
–Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby.
How many dead babies can you fit in a suitcase?
–Seven.
What’s pink and red, and sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller?
–A baby combing his hair with a potato peeler.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:05 am
Wow. I really liked that.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:22 am
I think Rock TV should adapt this book for the screen.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:42 am
With a moral and everything, how come you never had these published? Someday I may have a child who has been very naughty, and I may want to read him a bedtime story…
Also, I’d like to be able to purchase mine shrink-wrapped with a flame-thrower kit.
Thanks.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:45 am
baby baby… Im taken with the notion..
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.. and liked it…
August 25th, 2004 at 12:57 pm
Spectacular.
I love how the wasp-esque magic looks strangely like masturbation.
August 25th, 2004 at 1:40 pm
Steve, that’s hysterical. In all these years I’ve never noticed that. It adds such a nice sub-text to the whole thing.
August 25th, 2004 at 1:46 pm
um, i thought the same thing _steve. i was just asking adam what the hell the old man was doing. he said lighting the baby on fire, well he’s lighting something on fire, but it’s NOT the baby.
<— will no go and lock her self in her closet for having such gross thoughts
August 25th, 2004 at 2:46 pm
lauren.
HAHAHA!
hillarious
August 26th, 2004 at 9:02 am
I fear the day when our society will rule it
intolerant to ban books like this from being published. =[]
I also fear the presentations of more of “Peter’s childrens
books”.
August 26th, 2004 at 10:01 am
Peter’s children’s books are like X Files episodes.
August 27th, 2004 at 2:35 pm
I’m glad i’m not the only one who inferred masturbation from the infant burning…..
And to think Peter will be shaping minds under his tutilage. I shudder at the thought. This book is enough to give even me nightmares.
November 24th, 2004 at 4:29 pm
It really does look like he’s holding his penis (Hope he isn’t gay)Are all naughty people punished by masterbating maniacs? I need to know