Lumbar Pain
My back really hurts.
It feels like I was giving 400-meter piggy-back rides to the Sasquatch.
It feels like the dinner table was accidentally placed atop my spine, and then a 6-course meal was served.
It feels like my spine has been worked over by rowdy goats.
It feels like I was forced to work in an undersized munchkin factory for 14-hour days breathing in the hot, muggy coal dust, causing me to get black munchkin-lung.
It feels like I sat on Satan’s anal pike.
It feels like truant teens filled my spinal column with fire ants.
It feels like the NBA draft lottery was held using my vertibrae instead of ping-pong balls.
It feels like if I cracked my back, it would pop into dust and my torso would flop backward unnaturally.
So yeah, my back really hurts…
Categories:
August 23rd, 2005 at 12:38 am
Pobrecito. When I get down on my back, I ingest ungodly amounts of methamphetamines to relieve it.
August 23rd, 2005 at 7:20 am
Damn those rowdy goats.
August 23rd, 2005 at 12:37 pm
if only the dinner would have been 5 courses instead of 6! i’m sorry for ordering post dessert irish coffee!
August 23rd, 2005 at 2:57 pm
Now would be a fabulous opportunity to delve into the world of prescription drug addiction.
August 23rd, 2005 at 3:38 pm
I think Peter’s already delved into the world of prescription drug addiction based on his posts of late.
August 24th, 2005 at 7:47 am
Crack your back! Crack your back!
August 24th, 2005 at 9:38 am
This reminds me of the time we went over to Joe’s and huffed Syphillis.
August 24th, 2005 at 11:15 am
Kevin,
I don’t think I even want to know…..