I feel so refreshed and delicious today! I am brimming with vigor and life essence!

Hooray for falling back into daylight savings!

I woke up an hour before I needed to this morning, as my body was still adjusting to the extra hour it had been given. How glorious was it to simply roll over and continue sleeping! In my extra hour I dreamt of fudge-treats and the world champion 1991 Minnesota Twins.

I later awoke fully-rested to a sunny morning. Even though it was Monday, and my life is otherwise a relentless drone of despair and drudgery, nothing could dampen my mood. It was as if my head had been anointed by the oils of Allan, the Cherub of Mirth.

Now I sit here at work with a sunny smile and a youthful disposition. I have boundless energy and vitality. My confidence is sky-high. I tell you, I can do no wrong!

I also did cocaine.