One side of a phone conversation between the JLP and an old friend.

Yes, happy St. Patrick’s day to you too!

No, I’m still on spring break. Just at home relaxing.

Yeah, me too. So let me ask you something–

No, not bass fishing. That’s actually very odd that you just assumed I would ask about bass fishing.

Right. I hadn’t considered that.

At any rate, I wanted to ask you about this March Madness.

Well, I don’t want to sound dumb-

Okay, here goes. Is there actual insanity involved, or is it called “Madness” for some other reason?

So it’s mostly just basketball?

How about the fans, could they be characterized as clinically insane?

Really, that small a percentage? That’s a disappointment.

Exactly, I don’t mean “passionate”, I mean insane as in “being instructed by an invisible man to take a rock and beat a dog to death with it.”

So you’re saying there’s virtually none of that in March Madness?

No, I’m not disappointed. I just thought I had found a way to explain something.

Oh nothing really, my brother lost his job recently and he’s been having a tough go of it.

Right, and he killed a dog with a sharp rock the other day.

Yeah, that was him.

14 months probation and a fine.

Okay, well thanks for your help! I’ll see you Friday night at the fish fry!