I Have No Idea What This Is
It’s all dark and moist outside this morning, like being inside the mouth of a giant. As the rain drizzles down, the experience is initially comforting and womb-like. However, after a few moments it is as if I can feel the slicked glands of the giant’s tongue sliding across my belly while filthy corn residue slips between my resisting lips. After being tangled in the enormous tongue for a moment, I suddenly become aware that my ankle is resting betwixt the giant’s molars. In a horrifying instant, the giant bites down and my ankle pops into dust. My screams of agony are muffled by the fleshiness of the giant’s tongue as I begin to gurgle his bitter saliva. My final frantic moments are spent being torn in two and chewed up by the nefarious giant, and as I am swallowed I finally lose consciousness and die in misery.
That’s exactly what it’s like out there this morning.
Categories:
September 22nd, 2006 at 9:20 am
“Get in my belly! I want my baby back baby back baby back….”
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:06 am
It’s the perfect morning for watching a teen dance movie.
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:12 am
Victims of the almighty Sarlacc, his excellency hopes you will die honorably. You will learn a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years…nevermind that you will die long before that.
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:21 am
Threepio, you tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth he’ll get no such pleasure from us!
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:44 am
Chris that was PERFECT!
September 22nd, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Jabba. This is your last chance. Remove my pants or die.
That was the line, right?
Maybe that’s what I wanted it to be…
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Jabba: Pull the Jedi’s pants down!
*Gammorean guard pulls down Luke’s pants*
Chewbacca: (growl)
*Jabba and sycophants laugh*
Jabba: Soon you will learn to appreciate me.
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Very creative Peter!
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Leia (to Jabba): You’re gay?
*sycophants turn heads in unison to see Jabba’s response.
Jabba: Um…I think the music just got a little too loud, that’s all.
*sound of crickets chirping
Leia: ???
Sycophants: ???
September 22nd, 2006 at 2:43 pm
George Lucas: My dream has failed!
September 22nd, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Rick McCallum: I’ve always wanted you, George!
George Lucas: …
September 23rd, 2006 at 8:21 am
I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.
September 24th, 2006 at 5:48 am
Well there are certainly plenty of other Asians there…
July 25th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
WHY DID MR. LEMON DIE!!