11/21/2006

Give It Up, Kay

Filed under: — peter @ 7:54 am

You know, I’ve put up with this for a long time, and it’s finally gotten to the point where I need to make an issue out of it.

Every kiss does NOT begin with Kay [Jewelers].

I mean seriously, how much of this are we expected to put up with? There are more lies flying out of that particular ad campaign than Mike Hatch in apologize mode.

This Sunday, I will have been married to Bridgette for exactly one year. Throughout the last 12 months, we must have kissed at least 30 times. Of those, perhaps 10 began with Kay.

That’s one out of every three kisses. Far short of the promises strewn about by Kay Jewelers.

It’s time to ‘fess up and stop the lies, Kay. We see through your web of deception and misinformation. Americans deserve better.

And while you’re at it, will you get rid of that preposterous commercial where Santa is buying jewelry at your store for Mrs. Claus? Seeing that ad makes me wish I owned a gun.

14 Responses to “Give It Up, Kay”

  1. Jeff H says:

    What did the other kisses start with?

  2. Ted says:

    and a misguided sense that no meant yes.

  3. MJ says:

    I’m so glad I have a friend in the diamond business.

  4. _steve says:

    Why only 30 kisses in a year?

  5. scott says:

    what kind of kisses were the 10 though? i mean, if we’re talking open mouth, then they could count for more, depending on who is judging. german judges usually give you at least two on those.

  6. peter says:

    The Kay kisses were big time, I will grant you that.

  7. Sarah says:

    I’ll bet you used gag jumbo lips for those kisses.

  8. i’m gonna start a jeweller called Ess Jewelers

    that way, i can say ‘every kiss ends with ess’ and be describing both the spelling of the word and the tendency most people have to hiss after a satisfying kiss

  9. also, this saying would describe when i kiss my friend’s girlfriend, and then end the experience by giving her a necklace to not tell anyone

  10. Peter says:

    Every adulterous affair begins with ess.

  11. [...] Withholding Goods. For this one to work, you have to have some “hand” in the relationship. For example, if your spouse needs quality time with you, don’t spend any. If your husband wants to have sex, refuse his advances. When it comes time for those ridiculous holidays (Valentines, anniversary, Christmas) be sure to not recognize your spouse with any sort of gift. I hate diamond store ads. Every kiss does not begin with Kay. [...]

  12. Mike says:

    Yeah, we all know that if Santa wanted to lavish some luv on the misses, he’d have the elves mine a diamond and then craft a ring for it!

  13. [...] post by peter Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and [...]

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