I’m Poorly Qualified for My Job
Wait a minute, Gerald Ford died?
When did this happen? Two weeks ago? How did I miss this?
His memorials went on for six days? That seems a bit excessive. I mean, that’s like, one-fifth the length of his presidency.
Sorry if I seem a bit flustered, it’s just that I pride myself on my ability to stay up on current events, and this one totally escaped me. For instance, I’m well-versed on the ongoing feud between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump, for instance. Two paragons of American moral virtue going at it. Sort of like the Lincoln-Douglas debates.
Come to think of it, Rosie does bear a striking resemblance to Stephen A. Douglas…
I wasn’t really able to catch Bush’s speech last night, either. I assume he discussed his attempts to negotiate a ceasefire between Donald and Rosie? No? A new plan for the war in Iraq?
What war in Iraq?
Looks like it might be time for me to stop getting my hard news from “Us Weekly 
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January 11th, 2007 at 8:34 am
Do not worry. I watched the speech. Bush apologized for stopping mail delivery on 1/2/2007, since he had not realized the danger that presented to us Americans or his ratings in the polls. He did briefly mention Rosie and the Donald. Apparently he wants to ship them to Iraq, believing a surge of obnoxious American rich people will unify the Iraqi people. All in all, it was quite a weird speech. Especially when he introduced a sock puppet as his co-host for the speech.
January 11th, 2007 at 9:44 am
The more I look at that picture, the more I’m convinced that Rosie O’Donnell’s jowl-y visage matches that of Stephen “Popular Sovereignty” Douglas.
January 11th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Come on Peter, Everyone knows that the “war” is just an elaborate rouse founded by the government to make the current President look bad. And Gerald Ford didn’t die. He had evasive cosmetic surgery so he could run again under a new identity. Naturally they staged his death so people wouldn’t wonder what happened to him. You can find out all the answers to you questions at conspiracyplanet.com. Everyone knows this!
January 11th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Dear Ted-
Thank you for this helpful information. I am intruigued by your views and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
-Peter
January 11th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Ted sucks. He never publishes my comments on his blog.
Thom, do presidents really care about their ratings in the polls when they don’t have to worry about reelection? I know I wouldn’t!
January 12th, 2007 at 10:14 am
Sure they do. They must worry about “Their Legacy”. Ted is also way off. This “war” is an elaborate ruse” by the MEDIA and Hollywood Liberals to make the President look bad.
January 23rd, 2007 at 9:13 pm
[...] Ear… Oh Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood. « Top ___ Lists The State of…Whatever… January 24th, 2007 I really…really find the State of the Union Address…pointless.Mainly because the President mentions things that he never addresses again. Remember ending our addiction to oil? Remember no child left behind? I would ask my friend Peter, but he’s a history/current events teacher and so, often behind on the times. [...]