Time for another JLP celebrity update!

What’s up with Jim Varney? Where’s he been lately? You know who I mean - the Ernest P. Worrell guy.

America fell in love with Jim Varney back in the 1980s when he starred in a string of quirky commercials using his catchphrase, “Know what I mean, Vern?” He parlayed this goodwill into a series of increasingly depressing “Ernest” movies that tested America’s patience and made a modest splash on the direct-to-VHS market.

Really though - what’s Jim Varney been up to lately? It seems like he’s acting less and less these days. It’s really a shame. He does funny voices that I enjoy.

What’s that? Jim Varney died seven years ago?

Yikes. Nevermind. I guess I should stop holding my breath for “Ernest Goes to the Gulag” or “Ernest Becomes an Underground Pit Fighter”.

In other news, 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears, sister of the now-shamed Britney Spears and mega-hot star of her own Nickelodeon sitcom, remains a paragon of virtue and purity.