I started taking antibiotics for my ear infection on Tuesday, and it appears my ear is healing well. How do I know my ear is healing well, you ask? Because fluid is draining out of it!

I think we can all agree that there’s nothing disconcerting at all about the feeling of warm, thick discharge dripping from one’s ear. As a matter of fact, I’ve just described a picture of robust health!

Yes, I’m perfectly happy with this turn of events. Trust me when I tell you that nothing brings me more satisfaction than wiping slimy, pale yellow secretions out of my ear with a tissue while teaching a class. I’ve also begun saving these tissues so I can squeeze out the discharge as added flavoring on my cereal.

If only Santor Klaus would leave a leather pouch of his putrid ear drainings in my stocking every year!

Happy ear fluid day, everyone!