Have you guys been following current events lately?

Earthquakes in Myanmar, shark attacks in Oklahoma, and delegate-rape in Michigan! My, what a world we live in!

Reverend Wright? More like Reverend Wrong! (P.S. I didn’t think of that on my own, I heard somebody else say it and I thought it was “Wright” on!)

(P.P.S. I did think of the “Wright on” thing myself, though!)

Normally I don’t read the A section of the newspaper. I prefer sticking with The Family Circus. Sometimes all the headlines these days are enough to make your head spin! Chinese-funded atrocities in Sudan? No thank you! I’d rather follow the route of little Jeffy’s mischief! He gets around more than shi’ite Iraqi militia leader Muqtada al-Sadr!

Seriously though, I think we should kill him and end that nonsense over there. I am opposed to the war these days, because I don’t like it.

You know what else I don’t like? Fiddle Faddle. It just doesn’t taste good to me.

And that’s the news from my “straight talk express”!