Cool Morning Overreactions
Darkness has once again enshrouded the mornings, my friends.
The black, tingling chill of the night air pierces my nostrils and tickles my groin as I exit my car. I am alone in a void of empty, frosted air and keenly observant hoot-owls sounding their call of the damned. Enshrouded in my fall jacket and bulky spectacles, I pull my arms close to my body to preserve my body’s precious heat and defend myself from the attacks of Steven, a local homeless man of some physical stature.
Now I sit alone in a dimly-lit teacher’s workroom. By the light of my computer monitor, I silently consume a McDonalds Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit and think of happier times long past. Once I was a man. Now, I am but an egg-consuming shadow. Perhaps time will redeem my squandered years, perhaps not.
On this chilled, shady morning, I now realize that this blog is all I have left…
Remember me.

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Okay, first of all, I’m not homeless. I don’t live in the classroom. I am here because I enrolled in your class. Second, all I want is a hall pass so I can pee. Can you please take it out of your pants?
Wait until I am finished, Steven.
Perhaps that’s what is tickling your groin.