Author Archives: peter

Filling a Bucket

Posted on 2/3/2012 by peter

An inspiring message seen at my school today: Is it weird that this made me think of puking? While I’m fairly certain that the creators of this friendly, colorful sign did not intend to infer that we fill a bucket … Continue reading →

Posted in Ramblings | 1 Comment

I Am Smuckers Now

Posted on 1/28/2012 by peter

Sometimes I wish I lived in a Smuckers commercial. I’d spend my days savoring the sweet moments of youth, bathed in a perfect golden haze. My simple, heartwarming charms would be accompanied by a twinkling piano and the dulcet tones … Continue reading →

Posted in Meh | 1 Comment

Those People

Posted on 1/19/2012 by peter

You know those people who are just unpleasant to be around? People who are convinced they’re always right, and constantly tell loud anecdotes that end with them getting the upper hand over somebody else? Do you know the kind of … Continue reading →

Posted in Rants | Leave a comment

Dance With Me by Winifred Madison

Posted on 1/15/2012 by peter

As you are no doubt aware, the greatest book of all time is Dance With Me by Winifred Madison. It is the timeless story of shy, lonely girl named Jennifer trying to find love in the compromised world of high … Continue reading →

Posted in Meh, Scholarly Reviews | 4 Comments

The New Year

Posted on 1/1/2012 by peter

New year’s day is here. 2012 has begun. The world is awakening on this gray morning from a night of debauched, unnatural carnality. Glittering cocktails were consumed with abandon and the taut, glistening bodies of strangers found low pleasures in … Continue reading →

Posted in Ramblings | 2 Comments

On Having Two Kids

Posted on 12/20/2011 by peter

By now all of you know that I’m the father of two children. (If you didn’t know this, please leave this website and delete your browser history.) They are lovely kids, as children go. The older one likes to jump … Continue reading →

Posted in Sincerity | 4 Comments