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Category Archives: Best of the JLP
Starburst Ruminations
Now, my friends, let us turn to the issue of Starburst candies. I firstly contend that Starburst are appropriately named. The “burst” is from the blast of succulent fruit juices blasting all over my mouth, covering my tongue in craven … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Raves
4 Comments
February 1st, 2009
And so it begins again. February – still the month of the damned. Across the world, as darkness enshouds us, the ravenous, mouth-breathing hell-beasts howl as they prepare to feed upon the innocent for the duration of these next 28 … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Ramblings
2 Comments
Home Depreciation
The city of Minneapolis assessor’s office sent us a friendly note in the mail yesterday. The note had a picture of a sailboat on it! Also, it told us about how our home has dropped in value by nearly 30% … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Rants
12 Comments
Feral Fun!
Today, the JLP salutes all things feral! Man, look at that feral dog! He’s gone and killed another dog! He’s done gonna eat some other dog! Look out though, or he’s gonna gitcha! Go on, you feral dog! Scoot! Man, … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Ramblings
13 Comments
Words from the Landon
Hey gang, it’s me, Michael Landon. That’s right, I’m communicating with you via Peter’s blog despite the fact that I died of cancer back in ’91. Those were heady days, before the twist ending of The Sixth Sense, before Michael … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Ramblings
9 Comments
Graeters & You
While attending the recent wedding of local ne’er-do-wells Tami & Allen, I was introduced to a product so glorious, so sacrosanct, it was an affront to Barack Obama himself. Graeters Ice Cream. Churned from the breastmilk of angels (so as … Continue reading
Posted in Best of the JLP, Raves
9 Comments