Category Archives: Meh

They can’t all be winners.

I Am Smuckers Now

Posted on 1/28/2012 by peter

Sometimes I wish I lived in a Smuckers commercial. I’d spend my days savoring the sweet moments of youth, bathed in a perfect golden haze. My simple, heartwarming charms would be accompanied by a twinkling piano and the dulcet tones … Continue reading →

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Dance With Me by Winifred Madison

Posted on 1/15/2012 by peter

As you are no doubt aware, the greatest book of all time is Dance With Me by Winifred Madison. It is the timeless story of shy, lonely girl named Jennifer trying to find love in the compromised world of high … Continue reading →

Posted in Meh, Scholarly Reviews | 4 Comments

Michelob

Posted on 12/17/2011 by peter

Relax, friends, and enjoy a Michelob. Beaten down by Christmastime worries? Not sure where the next paycheck’s coming from? Scavenging for food from a dumpster behind Perkins? A cold, tasty Michelob is the cure for what ails ya! Join me … Continue reading →

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Lounge With Me

Posted on 12/1/2011 by peter

Come and lounge with me. Let us drape our bodies over one another as we lay relaxed on fine leather furniture. We will coil our appendages tightly together like two boa constrictors strangling a grizzly bear, yet the touch of … Continue reading →

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The Problem With Children

Posted on 11/14/2011 by peter

For the past couple days, I have found myself padding around my darkened house during the 4am hour holding a restless 1-month old. I haven’t had this much fun since I got a D in my college Geology class after … Continue reading →

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Pizza for Lunch!

Posted on 7/14/2011 by peter

Bridgette said we can have pizza for lunch today! I get so excited to eat pizza that sometimes I start tasting blood! I hope there aren’t any mushrooms on it, though. (Mushrooms make me poop brown water.) Most people eat … Continue reading →

Posted in Meh | 4 Comments