Category Archives: Ramblings

My pleasantly insane delusions.

Filling a Bucket

An inspiring message seen at my school today: Is it weird that this made me think of puking? While I’m fairly certain that the creators of this friendly, colorful sign did not intend to infer that we fill a bucket … Continue reading

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The New Year

New year’s day is here. 2012 has begun. The world is awakening on this gray morning from a night of debauched, unnatural carnality. Glittering cocktails were consumed with abandon and the taut, glistening bodies of strangers found low pleasures in … Continue reading

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From Rembrandt to Richard

Dearest, senile Richard- My summer has been most wonderful, filled with lingering naps and indulgent glasses of rich, warm milk. I spend my evenings enjoying the cool breeze that passes through my sunroom and reading books about men from long … Continue reading

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An Inaccurate Summertime Update

Unsolicited and despised, the JLP has returned. As the days continue their inexorable march toward human oblivion, I acknowledge that I have failed to keep the sub-sentient readers of this blog appraised of my ever-noteworthy actions. For this and many … Continue reading

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A Broken Man, a Beautiful Boy, and a Dirty Seatbelt

Howdy friends and prospective employers, here’s a picture of me: Look at me. My face is caught in some remote grimace, with the tensions of the day and this particular McDonalds drivethrough evident in my flat, strained expression. Meanwhile my … Continue reading

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Fun With Google Image Search, part 3

It’s time to have more fun with Google image search! Here’s what I found when I searched “Unicorn Fondle“: Look at that sick little bastard. All he ever wants to do is fondle unicorns and experience the low depravity of … Continue reading

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