Category Archives: Ramblings

My pleasantly insane delusions.

Normal Oatmeal

Great news, everybody. I figured out that if you add enough sugar and raisins to it, plain instant oatmeal can actually taste pretty good. According to my other preliminary studies, the same is also true for cauliflower and wood glue. … Continue reading

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My Project

My wife is at work and my children are asleep in their beds, lying as still and silent as a raccoons freshly smashed by a Ford F-150, except they are living and human and pleasant. The house has been cleaned, … Continue reading

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Seating Chart Wisdom

There’s a lot of strategy and folk wisdom that goes into putting together a solid classroom seating chart. Novice educators often make the mistake of thinking that the process is simple and put together some alphabetical monstrosity that torpedoes any … Continue reading

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The New Year

New year’s day is here. 2012 has begun. The world is awakening on this gray morning from a night of debauched, unnatural carnality. Glittering cocktails were consumed with abandon and the taut, glistening bodies of strangers found low pleasures in … Continue reading

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Hobbes Was Right

Here’s this bit of truth from p. 245 of my middle school World History textbook: That’s right kids. Some people eat ice cream cones. Other people play the piano. Some people are murdered. Look at that guy. He looks like … Continue reading

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From Rembrandt to Richard

Dearest, senile Richard- My summer has been most wonderful, filled with lingering naps and indulgent glasses of rich, warm milk. I spend my evenings enjoying the cool breeze that passes through my sunroom and reading books about men from long … Continue reading

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