Category Archives: Rants

Let me tell you a story, gentle readers. This is the story of a little 16 month old boy I am related to. Let’s call him William Howard Taft. So William Howard Taft happens to be an early riser. Rather … Continue reading →

So apparently my readers are getting impatient for more JLP content. I can’t say I’m surprised, given the marginal caliber of readers that this blog has attracted. This ain’t the Harvard Law Review. Turns out that writing posts about animal … Continue reading →

I recently dishonored myself by accepting a few bucks to take part in a taste test conducted by the fine people at Hot Pockets. If you’ve never been to one of these things, they are truly a strange and artificial … Continue reading →

It is New Year’s Eve, and I sit alone in dim silence. Outside my window, the world writhes in pagan celebration. Champagne drips like honey from the lips of weak-chinned revelry makers and low women undulate their abdomens in jubilation … Continue reading →

Well, everything is terrible now. My wife and son are in Colorado, visiting my sister-in-law. From the sounds of it, they’re having a terrific time filled with laughter, fond embraces, and tender words of affection. Meanwhile I spent two hours … Continue reading →

Sometimes I worry that hugging from behind will become a thing that my friends like to do and I’ll have to go along with it even though it makes me uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not entirely opposed to … Continue reading →